To make a long story short, my dad died and my son was born nearly three years ago. Just recently, I’ve learned two important lessons.
My dad was a good dad. He taught me everything he thought a man should know. We hunted and fished, but never wasted. We went to church…most of the time, but knew we had to work for what we wanted. We love spending time with our family, but know it’s important to make time for golf and drinks with friends. He never spent much time worrying about things he couldn’t change, and I never learned how to not worry about something.
Even when he was in the hospital, I looked for his guidance and approval. I’ve sought his help, since he died, on numerous occasions. Sometimes I feel like he’s with me, but he’s never answered my questions. And, come to think of it, I don’t remember him talking to any dead relatives when he was alive.
It’s time to trust that the things he taught me were right. I know he’s with me in moments of pride and conquest, but he can’t tell me how he’d handle an unruly kid or when he thinks I should have important “talks”. I don’t need to spend any more time asking Dad what he thinks. He’s done all he can to help me be a good dad and person.
My son will soon have a baby brother. “Baby Boy Fugate, Volume Two” hits the crib in mid-late September. Pick up your copy here, this fall.* I am going to teach these boys how important it is to be part of the food chain, and appreciate that we’re not just patrons with forks. I’m going to teach them to be thankful to God for the beauty around us, but to also know without close friends and family we may as well be blind (no offense to blind and ultra religious people).
I have become my dad. I look like him, act like him, and believe like him (mostly, I’m more socially liberal). This isn’t a bad thing. He did the best he could for me and I intend to do the same for my boys. All moral and ethical questions will be directed to firstname.lastname@example.org, even my own. I no longer have anyone to turn to for things I don’t know and I must be able to answer my boys’ questions as they arise, with confidence.
So, what are the two things I learned? One – My dad is gone and I need to stop asking him questions. Two – I have to stop doubting myself.
Have you lost someone close to you? If so, how long did you continue talking to that person, or do you still do it? Leave a comment here, or find me on Facebook, Twitter, or Google+. Thanks for reading.
*There is no book or e-book.