About thirteen years ago I was at my lowest point. I had been cheated on by the woman I loved and she was carrying a child that wasn’t mine. The news hurt and I let it do more damage to me than it should have. Things happen for a reason, though, and within a few couple of years I met my wife, Beth. She has been my salvation. With her at my side, I realized that I needed to do some things differently.
I’ve spent the last ten or eleven years trying to figure out how to live a better life. Every day I perform a minor tweak to the way that I think or do things. These changes are brought about by things that I read or see on television and also by events that happen in my life or in the lives of others. I have read a number of books relating to life, death and happiness.
Recently I saw the video “The Last Lecture” and within a couple of weeks someone else was talking about it and soon I’ll read the book. Dr. Paush’s exuberance and love for life inspired me. Faced with his death he still focused on the positive aspects of life and family. His legacy, this book and lecture video, are a testament to his love of family and a reminder that we are not the center of our own universe. Based on what I’ve read, seen and heard, his feelings of family and responsibility parallel mine and he is an example of the type of person that I strive to be.
I’m currently working toward a master’s degree. Once I finish in December of this year I will have a short break for Christmas and New Year’s and then I’ll begin working on a Ph.D. in Mississippi. I’m doing this so that I can live a better life.
Deep inside me there is a sense of responsibility to others. When I was a child I used to tell my mother and father that I wanted to either be a preacher or a doctor. I have wanted to help other people since before I can remember. But I lost my way for a while. Once back on track I finished my bachelor’s degree and began searching for a career where I could truly impact the lives of others.
I worked for a communications company, I managed a payday advance company, managed an educational toy company and managed a department of people devoted to finding employment for individuals with developmental disabilities. There were aspects of each that filled a space within me but none of them were right for me.
After I was laid off from my job working with people with disabilities I had to look closely at my situation. That is when I decided to return to college to get an advanced degree. Working with my professors and my wife I have unlocked a part of myself that I knew was there. I love to learn, share and solve problems. I have, for a long time, considered becoming a college professor and now I am on a track to do just that.
In order to live a better life sometimes it is necessary to endure things that are less than preferable. Over the next few years I will come to know this far more than anyone would like but the ends will justify the means. In January of 2011 I will move to Hattiesburg, Mississippi where I will live in an RV with my dog, Penny, while attending The University of Southern Mississippi and working toward a Ph.D. in communication. I will spend more time away from the ones that I love over the course of three years than I’d like to admit. But I am determined and nothing will stand in the way of my achieving this goal and being able to enjoy the life that I want to give to my family.
I will be with Beth and Jonas, my son, every other weekend and we will use video conferencing to chat and see each other as often as possible. This will, without doubt, be the most difficult thing that either Beth or I have ever done. No improvement in self is without sacrifice. I believe that this is the right path for me and my family and I pray that I’m right. How can I live a better life? I can keep doing what I’m doing and have faith that it will work out.
Someone dear to me once said, the best revenge, is to have and live a good life. Sounds to me, like you are mostly there. I am happy for you my friend.
chas
Dan,
I commend your fortitude, I pray for you and your family.
I know you will meet your goals and your family will grow stronger , your love for one another deeper.
Connie
Chas – Thank you. And, yes, I’ve never heard that but it’s a good saying. Likely came from a wise person.
Connie – You’re so sweet and prayers and commendations are always appreciated
Godspeed Danny. “Get busy living or get busy dying” -Red-
Mike – thanks! I expect you, and anyone else in the southeast, to come visit me and Penny in Dr. Dan’s travel trailer (or RV) of temperance.
WOW! Dan, this is awesome! Best of luck to you! If I happen to be in the South I’ll pop by the RV and say hi. My family still lives in GA, and I have friends in Biloxi, MS. I pursued my dreams when I quit my job in Jan 2010. Although times are hard on me right now, I know it was the right decision. I had to break away from that job – I was killing myself and had nothing to show for it. Now I know what I need to do and I am making things happen. Once I’m able to get a job again and back on my feet, I’m going back to school to get my Bachelors in English. I’m a single mom with only an Associates Degree but I have the most wonderful, loving, kind, and sweetest daughters a single mother or any mother could ever hope for. Sacrifices are nothing new to me, it’s all worth it in the end! Again, best of luck to you!!
Judy, I believe that if I follow my heart all will work out in the end. Just as with you, there are difficult and risky decisions, but if we believe and have faith in our decisions we’ll come out the other side smiling. I’ve got full support from my wife and I know I can lean on her when it gets tough.